Tag Archives: jealousy

Why do we want what we can’t and shouldn’t have? or Jealousy

6 Dec

Airplanes, skype, facetime, whatsapp, viber, and all the technology we have nowadays at our disposal has enabled us to cut travel times, transcend time-zones, remain connected even when we are the furthest away we’ve ever been. Having been to more than 30 countries, going to school on a different continent and simply living to travel, I had always been grateful to the available technology to keep in touch with whomever I meet on my journeys and leave behind when I move on.

Truthfully, I was never a sentimentalist, never crying at the airports and hating to say good-bye, never worried about leaving family, friends, boyfriends, relationships of any kind behind. People told me I am cold-hearted, but I felt I am too young to be tied down and there was so much more ahead of me than anything I could possibly leave behind. I always managed to maintain a distance with respect to the people surrounding me, as I knew I would soon leave. Still, the internet helped me create a sense of an international community that I am part of, having friends all over the globe and knowing I have someone to visit or crash at in all these different places. I always used it more for simply checking in, stalking what people have been up to, making sure I maintain enough of a presence so that people don’t forget me rather than actually maintaining any significant contacts. I only skype my parents when they forgot to refill my card or I miss seeing my dog and probably have two life-long friends that I talk to once every couple of months to make sure we’re seeing each other when we find ourselves in the same country.

And now I get to my story, of how the unexpected happened, and how despite me carefully not forming any lasting emotional attachment in person, I ended up being totally messed up by one formed on the internet.

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The beginning of the end

17 Dec

Perhaps this title sounds fatalistic or exaggerated, but I sincerely believe that almost anything in life represents the end of something and the beginning of a new experience. However, if we apply this to longer activities or periods of life, this transition begins to signify something more.

I am now talking of the end of the semester which signifies the fast approaching end of my senior year, and thus the end of high-school. For me it will hopefully also mean the end of living with my family and in this country. I am certain many of you will now expect to hear about the sadness that overwhelms me, or the regrets that I didn’t do enough, that some of my best years have gone by. But, despite the fact that this may be a general tendency for youngsters my age, in my case, I want to talk more about the joy I feel at the prospect of beginning something new, something bigger, something greater.


something great just in front of me

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